


Ugly Guy

by Magichemistry



Category: Logan Lucky (2017)
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/M, Fluff, Online Dating, Phone Sex, Smut, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-17 22:30:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14199027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magichemistry/pseuds/Magichemistry
Summary: “Remember, you can send private messages but girls will think you just want sex. Wait for them to reach you” Mellie explains to her brother how to use the dating app. “Understood, Mellie” Clyde sighs thinking he’ll stay forever single if he waits for some girl to message him.





	1. I don’t want to see your tiny dick

“Clyde! Put some something interesting, not just your name!” Clyde’s sister, Mellie, is trying to teach Clyde how to use a dating app. After seeing his brother single for so long and with her wedding coming, she wants him to get at least one date.

“I don’t understand. What else should I put?” Clyde frown at his phone. There are too many blank spaces that are required to fill such as age, job, interests, etc.

“Let me” Mellie takes his phone out of his hands and begins typing. “Now we just need a profile picture”.

“A picture of me? For what?”

“Because you don’t wanna scare all the girls as if you were a creep” Mellie rolls his eyes. “Maybe we should something with your hair”.

“I don’t want to…” Clyde slaps Mellie’s hand as she tries to touch his hair. “I don’t want to put a picture of me”.

“Why not? You’re very handsome” she smiles as a lovely gesture.

“Can we just finish this so I can prove you it’s a waste of time?” Clyde grumbles. He only accepted this whole dating app thing so Mellie would stop bothering him.

“You can use a picture of a martini meanwhile,” Mellie thinks it’s less bad than nothing. Plus, Clyde’s ability to prepare that drink with only one hand could be an interesting topic of conversation. “Now, remember. You can send private messages to everyone but it’s not the best thing because girls would think you’re just looking for sex. Wait for them to reach for you”.

“Understood, Mellie” Clyde sighs thinking he’ll stay forever single if he waits for some girl to message him but her sister knows about those things so he’ll listen to her.

* * *

Clyde finally arrives home at 3.18 am after working at the bar. During his work hours, he checked his phone constantly thinking that maybe, just maybe, a girl message him but none of that happened.

As he lays in bed, he feels his eyelids heavy but sleep doesn’t come to him. The house feels to silent, too big. So as the bed. He grabs his phone and lowers the light to the minimum. Perhaps some reading could relax him to sleep. After checking the news for twenty minutes he accepts the defeat that tonight he has insomnia. He doesn’t know how tomorrow he’ll function like a normal human being, with no sleep for more than 24 hours.

The icon of the dating app calls his attention and one more time he decides to check it. Zero messages are in his inbox so he starts to scroll down through profiles. So many girls looking for different things until one particular catches his attention.

The girl in the picture is just showing her face, next to it, it reads (Y/N), Age: (Y/A) and that’s it. He’s surprised that she didn’t write more like the other ones.

“(Y/N)” he tries your name in his mouth. His thumb moves above the screen, Mellie said he shouldn’t message any girl first but why does this girl didn’t put more about her life? Why her gaze looks so deep? As if she was staring and smiling only at him.

 _Hello, how are you?_  Clyde gives up and writes you. He tries to sound polite so you don’t get freak out.

* * *

You’re scrolling down on Tumblr, it’s already past midnight and you have to wake up at 7 am but you can’t sleep. A notification pops up on your screen and you don’t recognize it at first. When you do, you realize it’s that dating app you tried a few months ago for two days but after too many dick pics you abandoned.

You open the message and see that someone named Clyde Logan greeted you through a private message. You go to his profile and see he’s 32 years old and uses a martini picture instead of his own face.

_You: I don’t want to see your tiny dick. Leave me alone._

* * *

_I don’t want to see your tiny dick. Leave me alone._  Clyde reads and his eyes go wide. What is this girl talking about? Who said anything about a dick? He re-reads what he wrote wondering if the auto correct changed his words into something crazy.

_Excuse me? I don’t know what you’re talking about you_

_Every time a guy sends me a message it’s because he wants to show me his dick. No, thanks._

_I don’t want to show you anything. I just saw your picture and thought you were pretty. Sorry for bothering you, have a good night_  Clyde decides to say goodbye. It was worth the try. Even if it didn’t work.

* * *

 _I don’t want to show you anything. I just saw your picture and thought you were pretty. Sorry for bothering you, have a good night_  the guy sent you.

Maybe you were wrong but you’re not apologizing! After too many pics you learned your lesson and don’t want to fall on that again.

 _Thanks. I’d say the same but you don’t have a picture of your face_  you think you’re so witty with your comebacks.

_True. Or maybe you wouldn’t say it after seeing my face_

_Are you ugly?_  you smirk. Yeah, take that, presumptuous guy.

_Maybe. Guess you’ll never know._

_Oh, we have a smart guy. Anyway, what are you doing awake at this unholy hour?_  you check the hour and it’s almost 4 am

_I couldn’t sleep. I just got home from work._

_Who works at this hour?!_

_I’m a bartender_

_Oh, that’s why the picture of the martini! I guess you’re not that weird_

_That weird, uh? And what are you doing awake at this hour?_

_Couldn’t sleep either :(_  you admit. You have to get up in three hours but this conversation caught your interest.

_Drink a glass of warm milk_

_I’m not a child, Clyde_  you decide to call him by his name.

_It was just a suggestion, (Y/N)_

_Then, maybe I’ll try it…_  you flirt unconsciously. _I’m gonna go to sleep now, gotta be up at 7 am. Good night, ugly guy._

_Good night, pretty girl_

* * *

Clyde chuckles when he reads you called him ugly guy. He doesn’t consider himself ugly, just not very photogenic. Besides, what if in the picture appears his prosthetic arm? Then he’d have to give some explanations he’s not feeling to give.

He puts down his phone on the table next to the bed and lays on his side. Ugly guy and pretty girl he thinks. Somehow it fits.

* * *

 _Did the glass of milk work?_ Clyde decides to greet you. You were resisting to send him a message all day and when you see the notification at 6..30 in the evening you smile. He texted you first!

 _Yeah, you’re a good bartender. Know all the drinks, including the non-alcoholic_ you write as you walk back home.

_I try to_

_Oh, come on, Clyde. Don’t be so modest_

_I’m not, pretty girl. But I’m not full of myself either_

_Ugly guy :P_  you giggle as he calls you pretty again

_Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment_

* * *

Since that day, every day Clyde wakes up at noon and the first thing he does is greeting you. He usually texts things like hi, pretty girl or I dreamed about you. And every day at noon you wait for his message.

You learned from each other that Clyde is from West Virginia and you live eight hours by car. He’s a bartender in charge of a bar and you work in the most hellish job: retail.

Both of you suffer from insomnia occasionally but you keep each other company when that happens. After several weeks, you agreed to exchange phone numbers so it’d be easier to text.

_One image attached_

_Guess who’s drinking a martini and thought about you????_

Clyde receives your message when he’s working. He opens it and sees a martini resting on a black surface.

_I could prepare you a better martini than that one_

_Cocky_

_No. Honest._

_Then invite me to West Virginia so I can try your martinis_ you take your shot to find out how much Clyde is interested in you.

_You’ll get bored here_

_But I wanna see you_  the alcohol in your drink made you brave.

Clyde stares at this phone screen thinking about your words. Knowing each other in person is still a big step for him but he thinks of something else that he has wanted to do.

_Can I call you?_

_Yes_

You press enter and three seconds later there’s an incoming call on your phone from Clyde. You gulp down nervously, this is the first time you’ll hear his voice.

“Hey” you pick up trying to sound relaxed

“Hey” a deep voice that sounds like a growl answers you back

“I’m really happy you called” you walk out from the bar you are so you can hear him better.

“I’m really happy ya’ answered”

“You have an accent!” you exclaim. “Not that it’s wrong, you have a very nice voice”.

“Oh, thanks. Maybe ya’ won’t call me ugly guy anymore” Clyde says and you can notice he didn’t expect you to say that.

“You’re not so lucky” you laugh and kick a beer bottle that’s lying on the street.

“I really like your laugh,” he tells you and you feel your face red even though he can’t see you.

“So make me laugh more,” you say as a dare.

“I’ll try. Um, there’s some people arrivin’ at the bar so I have to hang up” he sounds sad that he has to do it.

“Can I call you when you arrive home? I’ll probably be awake” you ask him. You don’t want to stop hearing his voice.

“Of course, pretty girl. Don’t drink too martinis meanwhile” he says goodbye and hangs up.

He has called you pretty girl so many times but hearing him saying it makes your knees shake and your stomach fills with a warm sensation.


	2. If that girl really likes you, she’ll accept you just the way you are

“Why do you have tons of pictures of the same girl?” Mellie came to Clyde’s house to visit him.

“What?” Clyde doesn’t know what she’s talking about at first but then he remembers. “No, don’t look. That’s mine”

“You haven’t answered my question” she dodge Clyde’s hands. “Who is she?”

“She’s a girl I met on that dating app you made me try” he admits defeat.

“Clyde! That’s great!” Mellie is happy for her brother.

“Yeah, she uh, she sends me pictures of her clothes so I can tell her what looks good” Clyde scratches his hair a little embarrassed he’s talking about this with his sister.

“Really? Tell me more” Mellie sits on a couch and continues watching your pictures. There’s must be at least fifty and not only about you trying clothes. There are some selfies, the picture of a dog, a martini, and the sun.

“She calls me every night when I arrive from the bar” Clyde’s eyes gleams with joy when he talks about you. “When it was my birthday she woke me up at 6 in the morning to sing me Happy Birthday”.

“Clyde, you’re in love” Mellie realizes after hearing talk Clyde about you for half an hour. “Why don’t you invite here so you can meet each other?”

“Ummm…” he twists his mouth unsure of how to explain it. “She doesn’t know what I look like or anything”

“So?” Mellie doesn’t understand.

“There’s always the chance she won’t like me” Clyde’s right arm goes to his left forearm.

“You worry too much about nothing. If that girl really likes you, she’ll accept you just the way you are” Mellie puts her hand on top of Clyde’s hand. Just like everyone else, he deserves to love and be loved.

* * *

“How was your day?” you lay in bed as you talk to Clyde. Lately, you set your alarm at 3 in the morning to wake up when he arrives at his house.

“My sister came. We talked about you” Clyde finishes to put on an old shirt and shorts to be comfier.

“Oh, Mellie? And what did you say about me? Nothing wrong, I hope”

“Of course not” Clyde chuckles. “(Y/N), can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, you can ask me anything”

“Why do you keep talking to me when you don’t even know my face?” he lets out the doubt that has been on his mind since Mellie left.

“Well, because I like talking to you, that’s obvious” you begin to explain him. “I don’t need to see your face to know you’re a good person that cares about me. And you have a very nice voice, I told you. It’s raspy and deep, and the way you talk, I don’t know” you sigh. Your hand acts on its own and lands in your underwear.

“What about the way I talk?” his voice lowers on a deeper tone and you spread your legs rubbing your clothed clit.

“I don’t know, it’s just something. Fuck, Clyde” you try not to moan but you fail. “I’m sorry”.

“Why are ya’ sorry, pretty girl?” Clyde hears how your voice changed into a whine? A moan?

“Because I’m touching yourself. Sorry, your voice makes me feel things” you put your underwear aside and find your pussy wet and pulsing.

“Fuck…” Clyde mutters. Of all things, he never imagine you’d be doing this. “Where… where are you touching yourself?”

“On my pussy. It’s wet for you, Clyde” you arch your back as you rub your clit and pleasure begins.

“I wish, I wish I could be there” he rasps. How does phone sex work?

“Yeah? What would you do to me?” you snicker hoping you sound sexy enough for him.

“I’d kiss all of your beautiful body” Clyde holds his phone against his neck and pulls down the zipper of his shorts. “I’d lick it all, your nipples, your belly button, your pussy. Fuck, I wouldn’t stop for anything”.

“I want you to do that. I want you to speak to me close to my ear” you crave so much a man who you’ve never seen.

“I’d leave all you wet with my spit and then I’d go back to your pretty little clit and put my tongue on it” he gives lazy strokes to his cock. His ear and neck hurt so he puts you on speaker and throws his phone on his chest.

“Can you hear my pussy? Can you hear the sounds it’s making for you?” you insert one finger in your hole and some squelching noises can be heard on the phone line.

“I want ya’ to come for me, pretty girl. If ya’ come then you’ll make me come” he tights his fist more and uses the precum as lubricant.

“Then keep talking. Say anything but please, keep talking” you cry as you return your middle finger to your clit. It feels engorged and slippery.

“I like ya’ so much” he breathes loudly. “I like you so so much and I want ya’ to come for me and scream as loud as ya’ can”.

“Clyde, Clyde, Clyde,” you say louder and louder until you reach your orgasm, you scream against the phone his name and you keep touching yourself dragging your pleasure as much as you can. On the other line, Clyde bucks his hips wildly into his hand, wishing it was your pussy he was fucking. A few more strokes and he comes abundantly staining all his hand.

“Are ya’ there?” he pants after a moment of silence.

“Yeah” you wail tired. “I had never done that but I liked it. It was good”.

“Me neither. Would you like to try it again other time?” Clyde prays you say yes. Your voice totally changes into something sexy and feral when you’re aroused.

“Definitely” you laugh. You and Clyde talk some more until you fall asleep with your phone stuck to your ear.

* * *

You and Clyde have been speaking and texting for four months now, you even buy a cupcake to “celebrate” you anniversary every month. Anniversary of what? You don’t know, the relationship you and Clyde share has never been discussed. You’re more than friends but you can’t say you’re boyfriend and girlfriend.

Every night Clyde returns from the bar, he calls you, you have phone sex like that night and then talk until one of you fall asleep.

One weekday, Clyde sees you’re calling him and he finds it weird. During the day you text each other, usually waiting until night to speak on the phone.

“Pretty girl” Clyde greets you.

“I’m so sorry I’m calling you in the middle of the day but I can’t take it anymore” you sob locked in a bathroom of the store where you work.

“What happened, (Y/N)?” Clyde asks dead worried. He has never heard you like this and it’s breaking his heart.

“Customers, my boss, coworkers. Just everything. I’m so done” you punch the bathroom door.

“Are you fine? Do you need help?” Clyde’s mind begins to plan how he can help you.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry” you sniff and grab some toilet paper for your nose. “Retail is the worst. It has fucked up my nerves, I swear”.

“A pretty girl like ya’ shouldn’t suffer for something so mundane” Clyde tries to take a smile from you.

“Thank you” you laugh. “You’re everything, Clyde. You’re the most important person in my life”.

“You’re the most important person in my life too,” Clyde says and then stops thinking if he should say the next words. “I love you, (Y/N)”.

After an agonizing silence, you finally speak, “I know it sounds crazy because we haven’t met each other but I love you too, Clyde”.


	3. And to think you didn’t want to talk to me

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you curse over and over as you drive a rented car to West Virginia. You emptied your bank account to rent this car and buy some food. You packed just a small bag with some clothes. It was an impulse. After you hung up with Clyde you felt the urgency to be at his side, no more phone calls, no more texts, you need his real presence. He has no idea you’re going to his town, but if you had told him he would have said no.

Thankfully, he mentioned the name of his bar,  _Duck Tape_ , a few times so you put the name on the GPS of your phone.

“Yes!” you celebrate that Google found the address. It’s 1 am, you know you have to hurry up if you want to see him.

* * *

“Hi, pretty girl. A little early, don’t ya’ think? I’m not home yet” Clyde answers your call. He’s about to close the bar.

“I need to ask you something and I need you be honest with me” you practically order him.

“Yes, of course,” Clyde stops fumbling with the chairs.

“Why don’t you want me to know your face?”

“(Y/N), it’s not that. I’m not lying or anything. It’s just there are some parts of me I don’t know how to tell you about” he hopes you understand. Mellie has told him that if you really like him you’ll not judge him.

“You don’t need to tell me about them. I just need to look at them” you say as you stand outside Clyde’s bar.

“What are you talking about?” he’s baffled by your words.

“Turn around and you’ll understand” you open the door and see the back of a tall man.

“What?” he hears the door being open and turns around to find you holding your phone. He’s dumbfounded, his voice has disappeared. He must look all sweaty and messy from working so many hours. His clothes are so random and his left arm is totally exposed for you to notice it.

“Are you married or something?” tears threatening to fall down from your eyes.

“No… why?” he shakes his head. You’re here, the pretty girl he found on a dating app. You’re standing in front of him, facing him, confronting him.

“Because you’re too good to be true” you exhale and run to him. As soon as you took a look at him you knew he’s the perfect man for you. With that wavy dark hair, that little beard, and mustache that looks good on him, his big nose, his wide frame.

“You’re so tall” you cry kissing all of his face. Clyde hugs you with his arm right and kisses you too. Both of you are too excited to actually synchronized and kiss on the mouth.

“Is that a bad a thing?” he immediately falls in love with your smell and he admits you’re so much gorgeous on person.

“No, I like tall guys because they’re closer to Jesus” you laugh and cry at the same time. You try to climb on him to reach his mouth.

“You’re here, you’re real” he feels overwhelmed by your presence.

“I’m here, ugly guy” you sob trying to stop your tears.

“Finally, pretty girl” he crashes his lips into your mouth and you latch onto him. Your tongues recognize each other as if you were old lovers and even though there’s so much to speak, right now you only need the touch of his skin against yours.

“Let me close the bar so we can go home” Clyde is already speaking as if you two were living together.

“Clyde, we’ve been having phone sex for four months. I need you. I need you now” you severe with your voice, your foreheads touching. Without a doubt, he walks you to the closest table and you sit on it.

“What happened?” you run your fingers through his prosthetic metal arm.

“I was in the army” he sounds a little broken so you decide it’s not the time.

“Later, when you’re ready” you smile and return to kiss him. He grabs by the neck and settles between your legs. Between kisses, you get rid of your blouse, shorts, and undies.

“I don’t know where to start. There are so many things I want to do to ya’” Clyde admires your whole body. All those photos you sent him don’t do justice to what you really look. There’s no camera good enough that can capture your beauty.

“There will be time for that. Right now I want you to take me and don’t hold back” you interrupt Clyde’s thoughts. You take his right hand and put it between your legs.

Clyde begins rubbing your clit, that little button he imagined so many times during your phone calls. You spread your legs more, inviting him to explore you. He slips his finger in and he groans hearing the wet noise your pussy makes.

“Your fingers are so much better than mine” you throw your head back and move your hips following Clyde’s hand movement.

“Help me with my pants” he’s painfully hard and craves for your touch. You unbuckle his belt and unzip his jean looking inside for the big prize.

“Clyde… You’re really big from everywhere” you gasp in surprise. He only chuckles and stops touching you. He helps you with his boxers and holding his cock he’s ready to enter you.

“Are ya’ on the pill?” he suddenly remembers.

“Does it really matter?” you’re needy and aching. You shudder when the tip of his cock bumps in your clit.

Something primal awakes on Clyde now that you suggested the possibility of getting pregnant. Not wanting to be a second more outside of you he begins to enter you. The two of you look down to see how he makes his way inside of you.

“How do you even fit?” you breath loudly. His pubic hair brushes against your pussy lips.

“I know, you’re so tight” Clyde sighs at the immense pleasure of being completely enveloped by you.

You begin bucking your hips in short movements until you find a rhythm you like. You slide your hand under Clyde’s shirt to feel his bare back and chest.

Your mouths find each other again and Clyde thrusts his tongue inside of you. It’s like he wants to penetrate you from everywhere. He puts both of his hands on your lower back to guide you.

“It’s cold” you giggle as you refer to his prosthesis.

“Do you want me to take it out?” he didn’t notice when he was touching you with it.

“No” you close your eyes and undulate your hips more. “I want to feel every part of you”.

Your mouth returns to drink on him and with your finger you touch your clit. You abandon yourself to the imminent fall and Clyde snaps his hips harder. As you come you cross your legs behind him and moan in his mouth.  Clyde can’t hold on anymore, four months seems now like a torture and he stays still as his dick twitches and leaks inside your womb.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you say desperately and kiss all his face.

* * *

“Thank you” you take your shorts from Clyde’s hand and end up dressing.

“Do ya’ wanna see somethin’ cool?” Clyde asks you.

“Yes,” you chuckle as you hear Clyde say the word “cool”. He learned it from you.

He goes behind the bar and starts getting a shaker, a glass, ice cubes and some bottles. Then, with great ability, he prepares a perfect martini just using one hand. He puts the olive in the drink as the final touch and offers it to you.

“Wow” you only say. Not even a bartender using their two hands can prepare something like this. “I must admit this martini is better than the ones I tasted before,” you say after taking a sip.

“Told ya’” Clyde grins at you and cleans the bar.

“So, where do we go from here?” you wonder now that the passion is calmed. For now.

“You’re stayin’ with me” Clyde frowns thinking it was obvious.

“Yeah, but like tomorrow? Next week? Next month? They fired me from my job, I have no money and I need to return the car I rented” you’re honest at him about your situation.

“You’re stayin’ with me” he repeats. He takes your hand guiding you to the door.

“Mellie’s wedding is soon” he reminds you.

“Clyde Logan, are you asking to be your date?” you fake surprise and put a hand on your chest.

“I’m taking the prettiest girl in West Virginia” he grins at you and you laugh out loud.

* * *

_One year later_

“When we walk down the stairs, please, don’t let me fall” you plead Clyde. You’re wearing some uncomfortable heels and you don’t want to embarrass yourself falling in front of everyone.

“Of course not, sweetheart” Clyde takes your arm.

“Does my hair looks good?” you comb your hair a little trying to put it on place.

“You look absolutely beautiful” Clyde snickers at your evident nerves. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah” you nod your head.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present for the first time to our newlywed couple, Mr. and Mrs. (Y/N) and Clyde Logan!” a voice from outside can be heard and it’s your signal to come out to the garden where your wedding is celebrating.

“Oh God, this is it” you exclaim and Clyde only laughs.

* * *

Like Clyde promised you, he helps you walk down the stairs from the big house and guides you to the middle of the dancefloor. All eyes are on you but when the music starts it’s like they disappear. Time has stopped and it’s only Clyde and you.

“Remember the steps?” you whisper to him.

“Yes, just follow me” he surrounds your waist with his prosthetic arm and takes your hand with his other arm.

You practice this dance so many times and Clyde is moving soothingly through the dancefloor. He flips you over and you can see your parents, Jimmy, Mellie, Sandie and all the important people for you smiling.

“I can’t believe we’re here” you lean your head against his chest. You decide that being so nervous isn’t worth it, it’s your wedding day and it only happens once so you want to enjoy it.

“And to think you didn’t want to talk to me” Clyde bents down a little and murmur so you’re the only one who can hear him.

“I married the ugly guy from a dating app” you tease him and Clyde only shakes his head in laughter.

“Ready?” he asks you as the song approaches its end.

“Don’t let me fall”

“Trust me” Clyde grabs you tighter as you let yourself fall backward. His strong arms hold you several inches away from the floor. He leaves a short kiss on your lips and all the guests explode in a round of applause.


End file.
